12 Angry Folks?
by LogantheMajestic
Summary: Not yet complete


Characters (alphabetically): Chris, Julian, Katy, Lindsey (Logan's genderbender), Logan, Mana, Mika, Natha, Nikki, Nikandro (Nikki's genderbender, voiced by yours truly). Also starring my favorite Seth MacFarlane character from each of his respective shows (Family Guy and American Dad!): Stewie and Roger. Obvious parody of "12 Angry Men", but with some girls.

**A/N For the sake of the plot, all of us (including Roger) can understand Stewie.**

* * *

Here we are in a room at the city hall, where the aforementioned characters are sitting at a table, as they are the jury for a trial on which an unknown movie director is being put for their movie being too controversial. The first one to speak is Chris.

"So it's settled. All who vote "guilty" raise your hands."

Everyone raises their hand, including Chris.

"Ah, so everyone votes "guilty". I'm impressed.", followed by Nikki adding "Actually, I had a question.", to which everyone else agrees with a commotion. "And apparently, so did everyone else."

Chris: "Alright, what's your question, Nikki?"

Nikki: "What are you even talking about?"

Chris: "What?"

Lindsey adds: "Yeah, you just said "All who vote "guilty" raise your hands." without even telling us anything first. Like... what are we even doing in this room?"

Chris: "Oh, bloody hell... note to self: next time, get the whole word out before starting the episode. Alright, anyways, people in the public have been complaining here and there about a movie director's films being, oh I dunno, degrading, disgusting, offensive in some way, whatever the hell people nowadays get triggered over, and the producers and editors working for said movie director have appointed us to be the jury for this so-called trial. And for the record, I just get this over with and get outta here ASAP so Natha and I can go see "Incredibles 2"."

At first, everyone was quite surprised. Never before have any of them actually been part of a jury, and they certainly didn't think they'd have to defend a movie director, so this felt like a whole new experience for them. Chris: "Alright, so without further ado, let's get sta-"

Nikki interrupted, "Wait, I got another question.", a frustrated Chris: "Ugh, what now?"

"Why is Roger crossdressing as me?"

We see Roger wearing a clipped wig resembling Nikki's hairstyle, a black spaghetti strap tank top, and a pair of jean shorts. He replies: "What? For once, I'd love to enjoy being some kind of tomboy. If you can't deal with it, suck it up, bitch, you're just as bad as Francine and Hayley. I'd make a cleavage, but I see you're too flat for that to even be possible.". Nikki rolled her eyes: "Fine, just take that off when we're done. You don't have to conceal your alien identity from us, dude."

"Alright, fine, be that way! I hope lions eat you alive someday!"

Chris was nearly losing his patience: "Enough! Can we please just [bleep]ing move on already!?"

Following his rage, everyone was shocked, quite possibly even frightened, especially Natha; she never expected her partner to ever blow a fit.

"Honey, are you okay...?", she asked as she got up and came over to him to comfort him, as a heavy breathing Chris begins to regain his cool, a bit regretful of what he had just done: "I'm sorry, guys... that was totally uncalled for."

Being the asshole he always is, Roger responds with: "You're damn right it was!"

Natha: "Roger!"

Roger: "God, how could you be so inconsiderate? You practically hurt little ol' me's feelings!"

Now saying his first line...

Stewie: "No one cares about your feelings, alien."

Roger: "Oh, you wanna go, pipsqueak!?" while clenching his fist. Just as they were about to clash, which would have resulted in a rough fight, Nikandro did the right thing and separated the two, pushing them aside. He sighs then asks: "So what's there to this movie as to why people would be mad?"

Chris checks a list.

"Well, let's see here. According to this list of complaints the producer published on this PDF, the comments from the public mention an awful cast, a boring plot, and generally unlikable characters."

"Well, I know one show that's like that in a nutshell. *cough*Family Guy*cough*", said a smirking Logan. An offended Stewie replies "[bleep] you."

Mika adds: "Whoa, now hold on. That's what we're here for? I mean, if the movie's bad, people should just not watch it. I mean, there's literally no reason to just ridicule the director like that if A) they have the right to just not watch the movie and B) those would already be common traits of any movie out there."

Chris: "Well, apparently, whoever this director is has had a history and record of making godawful movies, ones that are so bad even a baby would cringe."

Mika: "Huh, well now that you mention it, maybe this director's got issues."

Chris: "Now... with everyone now knowing why they're here, all who vote "guilty" raise your hands."

And just as he would have wanted, everyone (including himself, obviously) raised their hand, thus making Chris relieved, relieved that he and Natha can finally go see Incredibles 2.

"Oh, thank God, looks like the case is closed. Everyone voted guilty."

However, something was amiss: one of them didn't raise their hand.

Chris: "Wait, I only counted 10 besides mine."

With their hands still raised, everyone looked around until noticing that the one who didn't raise their land was Logan.

Chris: "Logan?"

Logan: "That's right, not guilty."

Chris: "What the [bleep]?"

Roger: "Oh, come on, we're gonna be stuck here all day!"

Stewie: "Yeah, and I've got bigger plans, like later, I'm gonna cosplay as Iron Man and roleplay with Josh Brolin doing Thanos."

**Cutaway**

We see Stewie on set for a sequel to "Avengers: Infinity War", conversing with Josh Brolin. He asks Brolin: "So, uh, how do you want to act this out? Should I, like, pretend to fire a barrage of missiles and try to keep punching you?"

Brolin/Thanos: "How about I just kick your metallic ass?"

Stewie: "How dare you talk to me like that! I'm Tony [bleep]ing Stark! Take this!"

He pretends to fire missiles at Brolin and makes noises with his mouth while doing so, before "flying" closer to him and punching him in the legs. Brolin rolls his eyes before turning over to the producers.

"You dicks don't pay me enough to work with cosplayers!"

Stewie: "Take that you foul beast!"

**End of cutaway**

Logan: "Look, people, trust me on this. As an optimist myself, I know specifically that guilt comes beyond a reasonable doubt for this director to be judged. I mean sure, Chris made his points on the flaws of said director's movies, but I have high hopes."

Nikandro: "Oh, really?"

Logan: "Yes, really. I mean, what's there to stop anyone like me from trying to look for the right reasons to defend someone from punishment?"

Nikandro: "Um, maybe people who don't wanna get into anymore deep [bleep]. Remember what happened the last time we listened to your so-called "high hopes"?"

**Flashback**

We see Logan tell

Unfortunately, Logan forgot to add: "Unless, of course, it's a bear."

Nikandro groans and facepalms while Logan nervously chuckles.

**End of flashback**

Logan: "Okay, maybe I do mess up at times, but that was just one silly mistake. This time, I believe we shouldn't be dissing on a poor individual for just one movie. Even if they had a history of making abominations of films, it's likely they can learn from their mistakes."

Julian stepped in: "I doubt it. Like I always like to think, once a movie director screws up, we can never trust them ever again."

Logan: "That's ridiculous, you just came up with that thought yourself, it's not even the least bit official."

Julian: "Doesn't have to be, I can tell if this douchebag is a good-for-nothing prick, and chances are, they are."

Logan: "Pfft, yeah, right. That's the kind of thing people say if they wanna feel superior to others. Either way, think about it. Movies don't and shouldn't automatically label a movie director in anyway by which we think of them. I mean, sure, Tommy Wiseau did "The freaking Room", but surprisingly, he got so much praise from fans even though his movies generally suck. They've got a life ahead of them, and perhaps there's a lot of other stuff they could be doing on their own time."

Katy: "What are you saying, mate?"

Logan: "I'm saying that with their life being at stake, this movie director deserves better. Being ridiculed is obviously the last thing they need, or anyone for that matter, and with the fandom getting saltier and saltier and time passes, they're left with us as their only other hope."

Nikki got a bit of a chuckle: "Ha, their "only other hope".", Logan added: "Oh, come on, Nikki. Trust me on this."

Roger: "Well, have we even figured out exactly what this person hoped to accomplish with this movie?"

Stewie: "Whaddya mean, alien?"

Roger: "Okay, first of all, I have a name, you dick, and secondly, I'm saying that perhaps this director had their own intentions for making the movie, as in they were either trying to make the audience happy or pissed off, and for God's sake, I hope it's the latter."

Logan: "See, even Roger is adding to the case."

Roger: "Let's be real here, I only did that to make you idiots feel pathetic knowing that an alien actually has ideas, and that you'd be useless [bleep]heads without me. Like how the Smiths would get nowhere without me."

Nikki: "Gee, thanks, asshole. It's one thing to be a copycat, and now you're just gonna bash on us like that?"

Roger: "Well, excuse me, princess, but if you happen to watch my show, you'll see that I'm the character who gives two pieces of jack[bleep] to anyone, because the family sucks. Stan's stupid, Francine's a bitch, Hayley's just whiny, Steve's annoying, and Klaus just smells."

Lindsey: "I think you look adorable in that top."

Roger: "Aw, why, thank you, dear. That really means-"

Lindsey: "Not you, her."

A dissatisfied Roger: "You're all a bunch of bitches. I hate all of you."

Logan: "Alright, well putting the drama aside, my point is that if the movie was supposed to be that harmful, it was in no way intentional, and that everything within the movie was most likely part of their ideas and imagination, because who wouldn't ever use that kinda stuff? We just gotta learn to accept that, and with that being said, let's call the vote again. This time, however, everyone but me must write their votes on cards."

Chris: "What? Why?"

Logan: "Let me make it fair. If everyone writes down "guilty", I'll change my vote and you and Natha can go see Incredibles 2."

Natha: "Well, he is being considerate and doing for us a favor, dear. Let's give it a shot, shall we?". With no other choice, Chris agrees as he hands each person except Logan a blank flashcard. Sometime later, everyone had finished writing down their votes, and Chris looks through the cards to find them all "guilty" except for the last one, and upon reading "not guilty", everyone but Logan was shocked.

Chris: "Wha- who, WHY?"

Logan: "Aha, looks like we're getting some takers."

Chris: "But who the hell would actually change their vote?"

Suddenly, a hand was raised, from none other than...

Lindsey: "Me. I changed my vote."

Everyone else complained.

Stewie: "Oh, come on!"

Roger: "You crazy bitch!"

Lindsey: "First off, shut your [bleep]ing mouth, Roger, and secondly I'm an open-minded person, and from hearing Logan's monologue, I have to agree with him. Hell, I watch a lot of movies, like Spirited Away, and if there's one thing I enjoy, it's giving credit to those who worked on a movie, especially the director, no matter how bad or good the movie is. They worked hard, and that's all that matters."

Stewie: "What about The Emoji Movie?"

Lindsey: "Okay, fine, maybe with some exceptions, but otherwise, I'm quite positive things will go well. I'm just as optimistic as Logan."

Julian: "Now, wait a minute! Allow me to point this out. As much of a douche as he is, Roger had a point. Were the director's intentions really quote unquote "inspiring" or to deliberately troll the audience? Hell, we should also take greed into consideration. Usually, the people who make movies are as bad as politicians. Don't care about the public, just money."

Nikandro: "I'd have to agree with him. Oh, and just thought I'd add this here: I'm the complete opposite of the type of people Logan and Lindsey said they are."

Stewie: "Which is?"

Nikandro: "You know, a pessimist, someone who expects the worst. Hell, I haven't watched a damn good movie in a long time, so how can I even trust those idiots anymore?"

Mika: "So why have you not watched a movie you know should be good, like, I dunno, Frozen?

Nikandro: "Pfft, you think Frozen is good? It's nothing but a bunch of singing and shit. A movie should be an adventure, not a freaking musical."

Mika: "Hey, watch your mouth. Those songs are worth hearing. Even if one of them was sung by a bad guy. But you know what? Because I'd love for Frozen to be mentioned and given a chance of recogniton, I'd like to go ahead and change my vote as well."

Chris: "Oh, brother."

Stewie: "Me, too. I absolutely love that movie! I just wish Hans wasn't the bad guy."

Chris: "Oh, come on, guys!"

Logan: "You know, I was thinking, maybe Nikki is considerate enough to immediately change her vote. Eh?"

Nikki: "Yeah, no, I'm still not convinced. Plus, I can tell the only reason you want me to change my vote is because you have a huge crush on me, when I'm clearly not interested."

Logan: "Maybe some sex will change your mind?"

Nikki: "No."

Logan: "Maybe just a kiss?"

Nikki: "No."

Logan: "Aww..."

Nikki: (sighs) "Look, and- dude, my eyes are up here.". She catches Logan looking at her chest. The latter says, "Oh, sorry, didn't notice you were talking.", and then Nikki sarcastically says, "Sure. Hey, if it makes you feel better, I'll just switch my vote."

Sometime later, more and more jurors, including Chris and Nikandro, have already changed their vote from "guilty" to "not guilty". All that's left is:

Roger: "Here's what I think, maybe some jailtime is just what this asshole needs. I mean, who wouldn't enjoy having to take a piss or [bleep] in a right-out-in-the-open toilet?"

Mana: "By the way, we never got told who the director is."

Chris: "Oh yeah, you're right. Excuse me, ma'am, who's the director that was put on trial?"

Producer: "Why, it's M. Night Shyamalan, of course."

Right when she said that, everyone instantly became appalled. Chris immediately said:

"WHAT!? THAT'S WHO WE WERE DEFENDING THIS WHOLE TIME!?"

"Oh, hell no! My high hopes are now out the window! I'm not defending that prick!", said Logan

"Me neither!", said Nikki.

In the span of 5 seconds, everyone (including Logan) immediately changed all their votes from "not guilty" back to "guilty", resulting in a case closed as quickly as ever before. The producer was desperately trying to reason with them and get them to change their minds, but to no avail. Within that time, Shyamalan was sentenced to life imprisonment for The Last Airbender. Let's face it, Shyamalan sucks and should be sent to prison for the rest of his life.


End file.
